So one of the awesome things about working at Cireson is the amount of fun I get to have while doing my job! Yes, setting up Service Manager environments, working with deadlines, and traveling all over the world keeps me busy, but I work with an amazing team of people that make every day an absolute blast.

One of my coworkers joked today that his bio was a bit too bland for his liking and said he’d love to be able to write up a fake, more exciting biography for our company page. Well, we try to keep the page a bit more professional, but I started to think what a more adventurous biography might look like. Over my lunch break, I wrote up this comical faux profile and sent it company-wide. This was one of the most fun breaks I’ve ever taken and hopefully you find this write-up as entertaining as we do 🙂 Who knew developers could live such an exciting life?!

“David Stanley was discovered by Paul Sutton in the summer of 1996 as Paul trekked through the wilds of South Africa. When David first met Paul, he could barely speak, let alone read, but Paul took him under his wing.

After 6 weeks of proper English education, David displayed amazing talent and promise. He was writing at a college level and one morning, after a particularly sound sleep, woke up writing in straight javascript. Paul bid him farewell, as he know that David would be just fine, but didn’t know when their paths would again cross.

David’s life took several fantastic turns before landing him a job at Cireson. He was, for a few months, a stowaway on a Chinese shipping vessel, performing IT support for the captain who spoke no English at all. It was rumored that he saved the entire ship and crew by pawning off his gold pocket watch, a trinket given to him by a fortune teller in Johannesburg, to Nigerian pirates. After making the journey safely from Guangzhou to Morocco, David spent a year tending sheep among the local nomadic tribes and won favors from several tribesmen. These accolades allowed him to safely journey across Northern Africa, up through Israel (where he feasted and dined with nobles from at least 3 major religions who all knew and respected his Moroccan keepers) and finally, granted him safe passage as he swam across the Bosporus Strait to Europe.

Now in a land that felt more familiar, David backpacked in hostels for more than two years, meeting travelers and trading high-fives for 5 quid wherever possible. What was special about David’s high-fives? He’ll never tell. One man did say that after a high-five from David, he never lost at Blackjack the rest of his life. David’s knowledge of programming slipped to the back of his mind, and for a while he considered joining a traveling European carnival, making himself an oddity – having only too recently discovered that he could lick his elbow with ease.

While auditioning for the carnival, David caught the eye of a wealthy American businessman, who was setting up ski lodges across the United States. Seeing this as a perfect opportunity to hire someone with excellent flexibility and ligament strength, he offered David a job as a ski instructor on Utah, provided he leave immediately. The businessman only assumed that David knew how to ski (The carnival had made its way to the Alps for the summer season) but the topic had never actually come up.

Once in the States, David frantically hit the slopes in an attempt to impress his new boss. It was no use. His first week on the job was a disaster and the businessman, realizing the mistake he made, fired David on the spot. He was now alone, cold, and hungry in Utah.

Several years later, a few employees from Cireson were in the area. Paul was wandering down a street when, seeing a man in need, he reached down to hand the man an ‘Abe Lincoln.’ Lo and behold, Paul found that the man whom he nearly passed by was his old student, David Stanley. Moved with compassion, Paul slumped David over his shoulders (David was weak from malnutrition) and carried him back to the hotel. Over warm coco and scones, their friendship was rekindled, and Paul, realizing that he had the chance of a lifetime, offered David a job at Cireson.

Since that day, David has  been a loyal employee and now works with Cireson’s development team, bringing a new and exciting set of features to our tools.

He enjoys hiking, reading, attempting to cook for his family, tattoos, naps, and of course spending time with his wife, Tamye, and his two sons. He loves to explore new parks with his family, especially in the beautiful Utah summers.”


How’s that for a more adventurous profile David 🙂

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